Breaking News

Ladies & Gentleman...

The Funeral Has Been Cancelled

As it would appear, the esteemed author of Ritesh's Blog (i.e Ritesh Himself!!! Has Returned...

The Prodigal Son Has Arrived(again)

Whensoever the world was in need of something deep,insightful,satirical to read, he has been there.

Ladies and Gents, the world is in peril.

It is on the brink of collapse.

It needs deep thinking

It needs insightful judgements of events

It needs good old satire

And i'll be damned if he(Ritesh Himself!! )

Does'nt give it to the world...

The world needs Ritesh

And Ritesh has answered your prayers...

He is BACK!!!

And should be blogging once again on a screen very near you , very soon...

~~Blog Commentator - Hsetir Irawit~~

I found a reason to update my blog! haha

01. (the person who tagged you is) - Joanna

2. (your relationship with him/her is) - A school mate, a debate society junior, and above all A FRIEND.

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) - Emo, friendly, poetic, hopeless romantic, toot.

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you) - Giving me advice.& MAKING FUN OF MY PIMPLE!!!.

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you) - "U is fat" rawr

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will) - ... Not gona happen... Omg even the thought is scaring me! Nightmares!!!

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be) - Be less emo?.

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will) - Try to mend things back to normal?

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be) - Spread scandalous rumors about her?.

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is) - Desirable thing?? I dont know? cook?

11. (your overall impression of him/her is) - Nice, she is like one of the nicest person i know.

12. (how you think people around you will feel about you) - Kind person with a big heart. yet extremely wierd in his mannerism at times.

13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is) - My kindness.

14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is) - Me being wierd.

15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) - Me.

16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them) - You like me?? r u serious?? haha Thanks! thanks for being there and giving me a reason to live

17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)

1. Jobe

2. Claudia

3. Nataline

4. Gabriel

5. Kristelle

6. Toinkee

7. Khushbu

8. Xinyi

9. Reuben (but alas, you haven't a blog.)

10. Vann

(who is no.6 having a relationship with?) - im not sure, i hope its not that Black Barney though!! haha

(Is no.9 a male or female?) - erm....She-male??? How absolutely coincidental lol

(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - I doubt they are lesbians!.

(What is no.2 studying?) - Econs,chem,geog,maths.

(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) - i think after econs paper1

(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - English?.

(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - Ya a sis & a bro.

(Will you woo no.3?) - ....

(How about no.7?) - No. Shes my cousin!!!

(Is no.4 single?) - Lol that is really a complicated qn, i myslef do not know...haha.

(What’s the surname of no.5?) - Lee

(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - ^^

(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - do they knw each other?.

(Where is no.2 studying at?) - yjc!!!

(Say something casual about no.1) - Hahaha

(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - EWWWW NO!!!

(Where does no.9 live?) - Bishan i think?

(What colour does no.4 like?) - Black or Green??

(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - they dont even knoe each other

(Does no.7 like no.2?) - they dont know each other.

(How did you get to know no.2?) - Haha she was one of the most enthu OGL's lol so it was hard to miss her...haha

(Does no.1 have any pets?) - Poor Bak Chor died..

(Is no.6 the sexiest person in the world?) - soso.

Im A Pool Boy...

The Poolboy Random Gentle Sex Dreamer (RGSD) Friendly and eager. You are The Pool Boy. A teen at heart, you anxiously move about your daily tasks, hoping, praying for a good, instant lay. You're carefree, enthusiastic, and rarely discouraged. Love is cool, but it's not for you right now. You know what is? Crotches. You're a fun person in both big and small groups, and your friends trust and love you. Inside you, meanwhile, your lust is only growing. Imagine your beating heart sprouting pubic hair. Exactly. Try shaving that. Your exact male opposite: The False Messiah Deliberate Brutal Love Master If you're not scoring enough--which you aren't--you should adopt new strategies. Lower your standards. Be aggressive. Pool Boys are often submissive and hope (desperately) sex will find them. Realize that passiveness will not hook the horny girls you desire. A bolder approach and sheer repetition will. When browsing OkCupid, consider both The Dirty Little Secret (DGSM) and The Playstation (RGSM). ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe (DBLM), The Priss (DBLD) Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating. My profile name: : Ritzy89

Why cant i blog...

Why cant i blog?
WHY!!!

Why do i lack the inspiration to blog?!?!?!

Why!!! WHy!!! WHY!!!

I seriously dont know why i am unable to blog.

I just tried blogging on "rationality", like 5 minutes ago, and it sounded like utter crap.

Have i lost the gift of blogging?
Did i even have the gift?

I think its the lack of inspiration.

Even if i have inspiration, my commitment to self cencorship leads me to saving some posts as drafts, without any intention of ever publishing them.

Then again, am i just boring?
Is my inability to blog due to me being boring?
Am i boring? (please tell me in the comment box ^^ >>>)

Am i just too much of a horndog?
Is my Shlong ( and not "Shlort" as some people may think)
The reason why i am unable to come up with decent, clean, "user friendly" blogs?

Then again, are my views just t0o isolated for the average Singaporean to understand?
Is the general public in my country just too conventional to understand me?
Does views of the the general public, prevent me from expressing my own views?


Whoa WHoa WHOA
WAIT JUST A DARNEDEST MINUTE
Well what do you know!!!


I have just blogged successfully, ON My inability to blog!!!

I AM BLOGGING...
In Your face,readers!!!!



~~Ritesh Tiwari

New Test!!!

I lack the inspiration to blog.Yet, i need to update my blog.I had however the inspiration to makeup a test.It is hard.Very hard.MUAHAHALets see who really really knows me?:
Create your own Friend Test here

I am POOR {DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT SERIOUS}

I just REALISED something. IM POOR
Well i knew that all along, but it just hit me NOW how poor i am.


These Are The 3 Signs Which Showed Me How POOR I Am


1.) I live in a HDB...for those of you who do not know what that means, HDB is what my government provides to the poor people who cant afford their own proper houses. It is basically as u say in the west, A FLAT. It is small, it is high up, it is cramped, it has too little rooms, AND ABOVE ALL YOU GET TO TAKE A STINKING LIFT TO REACH IT.



2.) I go to a lower end JC...Loosely defined, my jc is the place where most of the lousiest people in the country are kicked off to. I mean even the ITE, which is where all the people who havent touched a book in their lives go, get better facilities to study in! Not only am i poor, MY SCHOOL IS POOR ALSO



3.) I am Single... Lets face it Girls go for guys who have either Good Looks OR Good Wallets. I have neither thus my current account ballance of relationships is (wait let me check) $0.00. Not only am i poor, MY RELATIONSHIPS LACK A SUBSTANTIAL FUND OF EXISTENCE.

Who truly knows me???

Create your own Friend Test here

I Saw Thee There

I saw thee there
sitting,smiling,serenading
In ur own world
I saw thee there on that rainy day
I saw thee there
But did thou c me

I saw thee there
Our eyes did meet
And never will i
Forget that moment
When u unknowingly made me greet
The endless world of
Unrequited yet unfailable
Affection for u


Is it love
Was it love
Is it possible for 1 to love
Even though its not possible
Even though i know
I know how i feel
How for me enjoyment is no longer possible
As long as i dont have u in my arms
For me forgetting u is not possible
Even though i know
To be together wth thee
Is not possible

I saw thee there
I will never forget
That moment when
You stared into
My god forsaken eyes
And tis due to this
God forsaken time that i lost unto thee
My heart

O curse these eyes
They dont let me
No
They forbid me from
Forgetting You

O curse these eyelids
They are the very curtains
Which Block
O so simply
Every image infront of me
Yet everytime i clos them
I cant help but see your Face
I cant help but feel your Gaze

I saw thee there
They saw thee there
They say that Tis
Is not love
Tis is but infatuation

O curse them
Why the hell
Should i care
I know myself
I know how i feel
How i dream
Of that very day
When u will come into my arms
and There Thee shall stay
for i will never let
Never let Thee go

I saw thee there
And incase my dreams
aint ever coming true
i tell thee here
Even though i know you arent listening


I love y ou
I shall wait for thee there
There where i saw u
On that rainy day
There where our eyes met

I shall wait for u
I shall wait for our
Eyes to meet
for our breath to meet
for our tounge to meet
for out skin to meet
for us to become one
And thus
For our souls to meet

I saw thee there
And i shall wait for thee
Forever wait for thee there
~Your Unrequited Lover~

Approximately 21 HOURS

Ladies & Gentleman & It's
Are You Studying?

Why?

What for?
Approximately 21 Hours?

Well i am supposed to be studying
But i cant
Whats the point?

Look at it this way
We spend hours
Days
Weeks
Months
Years
Studying for an event which will only take about 7 papers each for at most 3 bloody hours.
That's around 21 hours to judge 12 years of education.
Correct me if i am wrong but wheres the logic in that?
Why do we have to torture ourselves
Deprive ourselves of all our fun, r&R, and courtship practices
Just to get ready for these approximate 21 hours.

Exams are pointless, that's what i think.
The notion that one's intellect will be judged by these approximate 21 hours still baffles me
These 21 hours will also decide how our lives turn out in our highly competitive society.

21 HOURS
21 HOURS
21 HOURS

These 21 hours, will change our lives.
That much i can say
But why cant we study for 21 hours in proportion to the 21 hours for this paper.
Then again why should these paper,
dictate the past, future, and present of our lives.

No this should not be allowed
This MUST not be allowed
This MUST BE STOPPED

This insanity
This madness
This inhumanity of Exams, of studying forever for these few hours of exams
MUST BE STOPPED

But i know that here i rant in vain
Who will listen to me
Who will agree with me
Even if you do listen/agree with me
What can you do???
NOTHING
ZILCH
ZERO

Thus we The Human Race
Will continue to be doomed
To study endlessly in our youth
And to attempt to showcase our "intellect"
In these 21 HOURS...
--Ritesh Tiwari...

Now That Im Back

My futlie attempt at having a blog 2 years ago
Died prematurely early last year.
Now im backWith a better vocabulary(i think)
and with more knowledge of what and arsehole life can be.
Look out world here i come.
Life will never be the same.
For u and for me
My life's different
And im gona try to make your(my hypothetical readers')life too.
As for now i really gota sleep.
But as u sleep with me.
Rejoice
or mourn
As you
Think to yourself.
"My lifes gona change,
Now that that Tiwari Kid is blogging again"
--Ritesh Tiwari...